Process Over Product

I’m writing to share a recent personal experience of ceremony that may nudge you towards joining us in January for an online weekend immersion of Eros, Ceremony, and Belonging. Click here for more info and to sign up!

Last week on my birthday, I spent the afternoon in ceremony painting hundreds of Japanese Sumi circles. With a simple supply list of black ink, white paper, and one brush, I embarked on an exploration of mark making in an embodied process of spontaneous creation. I wasn’t trying to make art or create anything special. My purpose was to actively dance with Eros in the present moment.  

Like everything this year, my birthday was an opportunity to do things differently. In the past, I’ve enthusiastically celebrated in the spirit of “yes, more please!” But the truth is that this year, nothing sounded better than a week of quiet to wring myself out and rest. And with gathering restrictions in place, there wasn’t much to say ‘no’ to. Instead, I was called to say ‘yes’ to what my whole being craved when I got quiet and asked.

I received a very clear message to take a break from learning, going, talking, stretching – anything that required cognitive engagement – for the entire week. My body needed movement and time to unfurl in solitude and my mind begged for rest. To mark the reset, I designed a simple ceremony to honor my longing to move into the quiet and step into a slower pace for the upcoming year.

I entered into ceremony on the Sunday before my birthday. I journaled about the space I needed and why. I told those who needed to know not to expect much from me all week. I laid my devices down, put my books away, and wrote my mantra for the week, process not product, on my mirror.  I crossed the threshold, stepping more fully into my body with a warm shower. My week-long commitment was to reside in the moment, to listen and trust my body’s wisdom, impulses and movements – with little to no outside human influence for the duration.

I remained in the cocoon of ceremony for the entire week while still navigating the few commitments I couldn’t shake. On Thursday, my birthday, I completely closed to the outside world and opened a new ceremonial circle within my circle.

I sat in silence and when I could feel myself dropped in and listening, spoke an invocation and prayer. I stood up, gathered my breath and stepped towards my materials. Pouring the ink and dipping the brush, I let go of expectations (again) and began to move fluidly.

Circles emerged out of breath and movement in the moment, on the exhale and in silence. More or less pressure, more or less ink, brush placement, grip, and direction, pace quick and gestural or slow and deliberate, motions big or small. Some circles closed, others open, each one an exquisite expression of the infinite possibility of right here, right now – no refinements or fussing. Keep moving. Slowly.

A few times, I caught myself looking for revelations or insight – was I growing somehow? Gah! conditioning runs deep. Nothing to learn and nothing to make. To simply be in the experience of my body, decompressing my mind, unwinding into presence.

I finished when I ran out of paper. To close, I picked up one page at a time, took it in with my gaze and a breath, and placed it on the floor. This part of my ceremony was complete.

When I eventually picked up my phone, my heart swelled with joy to find warm birthday messages from friends and family. The one of me who revels in human connection wanted to respond, but it wasn’t time yet. It was time for integration and to wonder what might be different for me now. I mostly chose to respond on Sunday, when I closed the larger ceremonial container in the threshold of my shower.

It’s only been a few days since, and I’m still taking it slow. I haven’t yet tuned-in to podcasts, books, news, or much of anything mental. I may set up a little space to revisit  ‘process over product’ long after I erase it from my mirror.

This is one example of ceremony and apart from a few guidelines, there is no right way. They can be long or short, individual or communal, mark a moment or a lifetime. But something extra special happens when ceremonies are held and shared in community and it’s one of our favorite ways to come together with each other at The Verdant Collective. If you’re curious and think you’d like to join, click here to learn more about our weekend of ceremony coming up on January 22-24. We would love to land ourselves in the new year together, in sacred space with you.