Community isn’t Supposed to Be Comfortable

A few days ago I was wandering through one of my favorite gift shops in Boulder, looking for a birthday card, and I came across one that read, “Thank you for never pushing me outside of my comfort zone.” I opened it, thinking it was a joke and that would become clear when I read the inside.

It was blank.

I stared at it for a time, brow furrowed, eyes narrowed, feeling confused and disappointed.

The people I’m most grateful for in my life are the ones who regularly push me outside of my comfort zone. The ones who are unwilling to let me sit there for too long; who point out to me the places where I could move and grow, or maybe just step a little to the left, outside of my habituated ways of being, and into something more true, more honest, and more effective.

I wouldn’t be who I am, capable of what I am, and supporting other people in all the ways I am, without the friends and community that have pushed, shoved, at other times pulled, sometimes gently invited, and, on perhaps a few occasions, carried me kicking and screaming, outside of my comfort zone.

We need this. The world needs this. Community is not supposed to be comfortable. Belonging requires that we get uncomfortable on a regular basis. If you are comfortable all the time, you are and depriving the rest of us of your magick and your medicine.

The place I came to understand this  was a program called the Women’s Temple (which we now call the Verdant Collective). We spent time building a level of safety, connection, and support I’d never before experienced. Once that was in place, we added in a corresponding level of provocation, inspiration, and discomfort, all in service of growth and deeper connection, safety, and support. To say it was catalytic would be an understatement. Most of us walked away from that group reorganized and reoriented to ourselves, one another, and the world.

The Verdant Collective is a 4-month immersion experience into new-world women’s culture, with a focus on rewilding our erotic nature. It is a radical – and radically safe – place to remember (and failing that, to invent) what your free, embodied, deeply nourished, and sovereign female looks, sounds and feels like. It will not be comfortable, but paradoxically, you’ll likely come out more comfortable with yourself. Read more and apply here. We have just a few spots left, and we want you!